


Bittersweet Tears

by tuppenny



Series: Growing Together [14]
Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: F/M, Grief, Parental Death, but also fluff, referenced sibling death, yes it is an odd combo but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 01:10:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14905641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuppenny/pseuds/tuppenny
Summary: Katherine reacts to news of Joseph Pulitzer's death.





	Bittersweet Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Someone asked for this ages ago, and I can't remember who, and I'm sorry about that. Rachel, perhaps? At any rate, I didn't feel like writing it then, but now I do (did?), so here you are! 
> 
> Joseph Pulitzer died unexpectedly after falling ill while on his yacht in Charleston Harbor. Click [here](https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/learning/general/onthisday/bday/0410.html) to read his obituary.

**October 1911**

Katherine replaced the telephone’s earpiece and turned to face Jack, her expression dazed.

“Ace?” He asked, cradling their one-month-old son in his arms as their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter sat on the floor next to him, waiting for him to resume reading the picture book she’d pulled out.

“It’s my father,” she said, blinking slowly. “He’s dead.”

“Oh, macushla,” he said, setting Nicholas down on a soft blanket and moving to his wife’s side. “I’m so sorry.”

She leaned into his hug and stared, wide-eyed, at her two small children, who were (semi-miraculously) waiting patiently and quietly for whatever came next. _Oh_ , she thought, her breath catching. _They’re too young to remember him. Their only grandfather, and they won’t remember him at all._ It was this that set her off to crying—the certainty that her father was already on the way to being forgotten, that he would never be more than a story to his grandchildren, that he’d never teach Eleanor to type the way he’d taught her, that he’d never publish another savage exposé about the underbelly of this rotten city, that he’d never get another chance to drive her crazy by trying to do what he thought was best for her…

“Oh, Ace,” Jack said, rubbing her back and sliding one hand up to press it against her hair and cradle her close to him. “There you are now, love. That’s right, cry all you want. ‘S okay, Kath’rine, ‘s okay, go ahead an’ cry, I’m right here…”

Eleanor’s lower lip trembled as she watched her mother cry, and Nicholas began to whimper, too, upset at being laid on the floor, upset at the absence of his parents, upset at the sobbing noises that were echoing through the living room. “Mommy?” Ellie said, scrambling to her feet and tripping over to hug Katherine’s legs. “Mommy, you okay? You okay, Mommy, you okay,” she said, patting her mother’s thighs and pressing kisses to her knee. Much to Eleanor’s dismay, these efforts merely served to make Katherine cry even harder. Eleanor found her left hand gripped firmly in her mother’s hand, gave Jack an utterly bewildered look, and burst into tears of her own. 

Naturally, Eleanor’s tears sent Nicholas over the edge, too, and Jack found himself awash in a wall of sound that made his throat close up and set his brain on a one-track loop of _too loud get out too loud get out too loud..._. He wasn’t the scared little boy of his youth anymore, though, the one who struggled to respond to sadness with vulnerability instead of a quip or a well-meaning punch to the arm. No, now he was a full-grown man, a husband, and a father, and he was a heck of a lot better at this sort of thing than he used to be.

“Let’s take this to the couch, girls,” he said, shuffling Katherine and Eleanor onto the sofa and bending down to pick Nicholas up and hug the baby to his chest. Eleanor crawled into her mother’s lap and curled against Katherine’s stomach, seeking the safety of Katherine’s arms, and Jack began patting Nicholas on the back as he made shushing noises to comfort the whole family. 

“Mommy okay?” Ellie hiccupped, still crying, and Katherine gave her daughter a wobbly smile.

“I will be, Bunny. Mommy’s sad right now, but it’s okay to be sad sometimes.”

“That’s right,” Jack said, using his free hand to rub Katherine’s back. “Everyone gets sad sometimes, Bunny, and sometimes when people get sad they cry.” He looked down at Eleanor and squeezed Katherine’s shoulder. “Mommy’s sad right now because Grandpa died.”

“Oh.” Ellie popped her thumb into her mouth and sniffled, looking from Jack to Katherine. After a moment, she said, “Ewwy sad, too.”

“Do you miss Grandpa?”

Ellie shook her head, her short curls bouncing. “No—Gampa onna boat. Gampa wike boats!”

Katherine choked out a laugh; she and Jack had spent weeks explaining to Eleanor that Grandpa wasn’t going to be coming over for dinner for a while because he was traveling, and he was traveling on a boat, and yes, boats went in the water, and then they’d gone to the harbor to watch the boats, but no, that one wasn’t Grandpa’s boat, and no, that one wasn’t Grandpa’s boat, and no, that one wasn’t, either… It had taken a while, but apparently it had stuck. 

“That’s right, Ellie,” Katherine said. “Grandpa does…” She swallowed. “Did…?” She shook her head. That didn’t feel right yet. “Grandpa likes boats.” 

“Me wike boats, too!” She shifted onto her knees and beamed up at Katherine. “Mommy wike boats, too! Nicky, too!”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “What about Daddy, hmm?” 

“No,” Ellie said, her dark eyes serious. “Daddy no wike boats.” 

“I don’t?”

“No. Daddy wike _me!”_ She giggled and flopped across Katherine’s lap, stretching her arms out to Jack.

“You’ve got me there,” he said, amused. “I do like you, Ellie. I like you very much.”

Eleanor grinned and rolled over onto her back. “Mommy no sad,” she admonished, tugging at Katherine’s arm in an attempt to get her mother to stop brushing away tears. “Mommy okay! Ewwy here, Mommy wike Ewwy.”

Katherine gave a sob-laugh and bent down to kiss Eleanor’s forehead, her tears splashing onto her daughter’s cheeks. “That’s true. I like you a lot, my sweet girl.” 

Eleanor made a face and slid off Katherine’s lap and onto the floor. She dashed away, and Katherine collapsed against Jack. She held her husband close even as she made sure not to press too tightly against Nicholas, who had subsided into the occasional squeaky whimper. 

“I’m not even sure why I’m crying,” she said, her voice wobbly. 

Jack blinked. “Um. Maybe ‘cause he was your father?” 

“I didn’t cry when Lucy died,” Katherine said. “Not at first. Not immediately. And I _adored_ Lucy. Our relationship wasn’t complicated—she was easy to love.”

“Grief doesn’t always come out in ways that make sense,” Jack said, shrugging. “I been ta my fair share of funerals, an’ I didn’t always cry at the ones I thought I would.”

Katherine laughed bitterly. “If I don’t cry at this funeral, people will think I’m angry at him. That his wayward, ungrateful daughter didn’t appreciate him. That I… that I never loved him.” 

“Oh, angel,” Jack said, his voice soft. “Anyone who knows you at all knows you loved him, an’ everyone else c’n go jump in the Hudson.” He gave a snort. “Scratch that—I’ll push ‘em in myself. Your emotions aren’t a theater show for other people ta watch an’ review for the papes. Cry, don’t cry, it doesn’t matter—you loved your pops, even though he wasn’t perfect, an’ nothing will ever change that.” 

“He was so difficult,” Katherine sighed, pressing a kiss to Nicholas’ wispy hair. “He always had to have the answers. He always had to know best.” She shook her head and gave a rueful smile. “And the worst part was that he usually did.”

Jack laughed. “He was annoying that way, wasn’t he.”

“Mhmm.” Katherine pulled away to wipe her eyes with a handkerchief that she pulled from a skirt pocket.

“Does that one have kid snot on it, love?”

“Of course,” she said, and Jack was grateful to hear her laugh, even though it was weak. “Everything in this house has kid snot on it.”

He snorted, and she answered by pointing to crusty spots on her skirt and his sweater. Jack grimaced and bounced Nicholas gently. “Gross.” 

“I’m sad our children won’t get to know him. He was a man worth knowing.”

“He was.” Jack laid a hand atop hers and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. “He did an awful lot for us, in the end, an’ I’ll always be grateful to him for that.”

“Redemptive arc,” Katherine said, trying to smile.

“Indeed.” They sat there quietly for a moment, until Jack gripped her hand tightly. “We’ll make sure ta talk about him, Ace. I promise you. He won’t just be a phantom to our kids.”

“Thank you, Jack,” she whispered.

He nodded. “I owe him that. After all, he brought me to you.” 

Katherine felt her eyes beginning to well with tears again, and so she leaned up to kiss Jack’s cheek and temple to distract herself. Eleanor barged in just then, helpfully demanding attention. “Mommy! Mommy, Ewwy have pesent, make you happy.”

“Is that right, muffin?” Katherine said, wiping her eyes again, this time with her sleeve.

Ellie nodded and shoved a drawing into Katherine’s lap. Katherine lifted it to examine it more closely. “Oh, it’s a…” Katherine knit her eyebrows together, unable to figure out what the page absolutely full of not-quite-circles was supposed to be. “Um… it’s lovely,” she said. “Thank you, Eleanor. That’s very sweet of you. Can you explain it to me, please?” 

“Fammy onna boat, Mommy! Dat Ewwy an’ Gampa an’ Gamma,” she said, pointing in turn to various squashy round blobs that, Katherine noticed now, were hovering over a clump of black scribbled lines. “An’ Bug an’ Mommy an’ Daddy,” she continued, failing to notice her mother’s renewed tears, “An’ Aunt Edie an’ Aunt Connie an’ Unca Joey an’ Unca Chawy an’ Danny an’ Eddie an’ Aunt Wosie an’ Unca Day an’ Aunt Night an’ Unca Wace an’ Unca Spot an’…” 

Eleanor took a deep breath to continue listing off names for all of the tiny circles on the page, but Katherine interrupted with a single broken word. “Family.”

“Yeh!” Ellie said, tracing the lines of her drawing. “Mommy fammy!” Her smile turned to dismay as she looked up to see Katherine’s hands pressed to her mouth and her face wet with tears. “Mommy, _no!_ No cwy! Mommy fammy, fammy _happy!”_ Eleanor reached out to hold Katherine’s hand and patted it frantically. “Mommy, Ewwy here—Mommy no sad!”

“Mommy’s not sad anymore, Bunny,” Katherine said, pulling her daughter up into her lap and holding her close. “Mommy’s happy. Mommy’s family makes her very, very happy. _You_ make me very, very happy, Eleanor.”

Ellie gave her mother a deeply suspicious look. “But… But Mommy cwy.” 

Katherine rested a finger on Ellie’s nose and tried to smile. “Yes, but these are happy tears, Bunny. I love you so much that I can’t help but cry.”   

Eleanor shot a skeptical glance at Jack, who nodded and gave a reassuring smile. Eleanor looked back at her mother, watched the tears continue to fall, and decided that even though her parents made very little sense, she loved them anyway. “Okay, Mommy.” She shook her head in confusion, her auburn ringlets bouncing, and pressed a kiss to Katherine’s lips. “Wuv you.” She curled up in Katherine's lap and ran a tiny hand over her mother's arm, trying to soothe Katherine the way Katherine soothed her.

Katherine smiled and ran a hand over Eleanor's tight curls. “I love you, too, my sweet girl. Very much.”


End file.
